All Mine Now (Open)

This was hers. And this was hers. Annnnd this too. Naki, in a rather awesome mask and cat ears to hide her super secret identity as a cat burglar, picked through the fancy hair and jewelry items in this box.

"Ooh now this shit is fancy as fuck." Her pleased voice called out in the quiet room, finding a rather gaudy hair ornament and quickly stuffed it into her bag. The hidden stash of rare jade antique statues, a lovely rare heirloom scarf and other such items had already been taken and she was left with this small bit of jewelry...

However she had overstayed her welcome when she heard the family return downstairs. Whoops.

Hopping out of the window, she landed in the alleyway before taking off. Soon the cries of anger at the pillaged room was found came out and she picked up speed, the thrill of having stolen and escaped without having to use her portals making her pleased beyond belief. Even if anyone decided to follow her obvious trail and help the ones yelling thief, they would have to catch up with the bount... Without any spiritual pressure they would never do it even if her powers were being hidden utterly.

She let out a laugh, adjusting her masquerade mask as her green and brown eyes almost glowed in the dark.

Des was doing a nightly patrol sweep through Rukon when she heard a commotion going on. Someone was bold enough to commit a robbery it seems, on her shift of all times. "Somebody must need a fist planted firmly in their ass today." She muttered to her self as she gave her legs a quick stretch.

Des took off towards the sound and quickly caught up with the angry villagers. "What's going on, quick!" The captain shouted as she slowed to a jog net to the group.

"Fucking thief just ransacked my house." The older man said as he huffed and puffed.

"Got it!" Des said as she began flash stepping down the alley. The chase is onnnnn.

Was that... a shinigami?! The FUCK was a shinigami doing out here!? Was she captain level? Oh fucking hell. Naki sped up, this chase could be fun!

Turning her head, she blew a loud raspberry at the woman before turning along another path. Her voice sounded out as she yelled. "Catch me if you can you lonely tramp wagon!"

lonely... LONELY LONELY!. Now this has escalated from simply doing her job to now having a personal vendetta of the intensest nature. Des was going to beat this woman unconscious, taze her awake, and beat her to sleep til she got bored.

"FUCKING COME BACK HER SO I CAN MAKE YOU REGRET THOSE WORDS." Des screamed as she took the as the thief. Deciding to test out her new gear on the field she grabbed a stun grenade she got from R&D and quickly primed it before tossing quite a bit ahead of her hopping the loudmouth would run into it.

Oh SHIT that really pissed her off! Naki laughed a bit excited, adrenaline making her a bit headstrong. She could flee anytime she wanted but seriously having some screaming woman chasing her was the best.

"WHICH ONE. LONELY, TRAMP OR WAGON?! I GOTTA KNOW WHICH ONE I'M GONNA REGRET FIRST!" Naki yelled back, laughing. Still as a grenade flew in front of her, she swore up a storm. "ARE YOU INSANE ASSHOLE, A GRENADE?!"

She hadn't wanted to play her card just yet but... A purple maelstrom of maelstromyness appeared in front of Naki as she ran straight through, it blinking out after she did. Naki's spiritual signature would reappear on a roof waaay down the street as she waved her hand in a mock salute.

Des was ready to retort back with some well structured obscentiies of her own when she was suddenly left baffled, the woman had suddenly just disappeared and reappeared way farther than a flash step. "What the fuck?" she mumbled to herself. why do I get runners, why can't I get a fat person. She fucking teleported or something. NOBODY ELSE GETS THEIR ON THEIR PATROLS. GOD DAMN IIIIIT.

Des let out a frustrated growl before she hopped on a nearby roof to at least get on teh same level as the girl. "STOP RUNNING YOU THIEVING FUCKING WHOOOOOORE!" The captain yelled as she prepared to make chase.

"YOU BET YOUR FUCKING LESBIAN ASS I AM. I AM NOT STOPPING, WOMEN DON'T INTEREST ME SORRY. HOW ABOUT YOU GO AFTER OTHER FISHIES IN THE SMALL BOWL OF OPTIONS YOU HAVE!" Oh boy this woman just KEPT getting better and better. Naki was having too much fun taunting her to just leave the Soul Society and head back with her loot. Slowing just enough to wiggle her butt at Des, her laughter rang out in the night as she hopped along the rooftops.

"HEY, I'M NOT A LESBIAN, I'M BI AT MOST. BUT THAT'S NOT FUCKING IMPORTANT GOD DAMN IT. YOU GET BACK HER SO I CAN PUNCH YOU SQUARE IN YOUR FUCKING NOSE!" Des yelled growing more irritated the longer she chased the woman.

note to self, ask R&R for a netgun

"When I catch you, I'M GOING TO DROWN YOU WITH THE OTHER FUCKING SMALL FISHES, HOW ABOUT THAT SHIT YOU... YOU TROLLOP"

"You're the one who went into detail!" Naki called back and laughed strongly. "I DON'T PLAN ON GETTING PUNCHED SHINI, NOT BY SOME LIL SHIT LIKE YOU!"

Swimming with the fishes...? Drown her? What happened to her beatings? She had struck so many nerves now. Should she have wanted to stop and bother the shinigami more, this was making it less likely. Maybe... Taking out a rather dented silver plated vase, she tossed it behind her. "PEACE OFFERING! TAKE IT YA CHUNKY ASS!"

Trollop wasn't far off as far as insults went and Naki's eye twitched. She got a bit...frustrated. It wasn't that she looked for sex! It just fell into her lap! How was she to know that her jobs would end up with her in that situation...

Des was caught off guard by the vase and barely managed to catch it before it smashed into her face. "FUCK PEACE YOU DEGENARATE WHOREY SLUTBUCKET. AND MY ASS IS LEAGUES AHEAD OF YOURS. I'M NEW HOTNESS AND YOUR ASS IS A SEMEN DUMPSTER." The captain scream before she hurled the vase back at her.

This is fun, I haven't been this excited in sooo long.

"IT FUCKING ISN'T! SEMEN DUMPSTER MY ASS, YOU'RE THE CUM BANDIT WITH THAT SHIT DRAINING FROM YOU!" Okay NOW Naki was pissed herself, growling. She glanced back, hoping tha thte vase had smacked this fucker in the face only to see her catch it and toss it. "SO WHAT IF THOSE DEMONIZING CUNT LICKERS SEEM TO WANT TO FUCK ME. ITS NOT LIKE I GO LOOKING! THEY ARE THE FUCKED UP ONES!"

WHY did she yell that back?! Hopping to the side as the vase smashed the roof of the building, she wanted to stab this woman so badly. Stabby stab...

"Awwwwww, SOMEONE IS JUST A POOR OLD VAPID WHOOORE. BOO HOO. I STEAL FOR MY BOSSES AND THEN THEY USE ME LIKE COCK SLEEVE. LET ME PLAY SOME SAD MUSIC FOR YOU AS YOU REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES YOU LAID IN ED SMELLING LIKE A 16 YEAR OLD ROOM AS YOU LEAK FROM ALL YOUR HOLES." Des screamed mockingly. The girl had presented a wound and the captain was going to dig into as deep as she could to rile her up and finally make her stop running.

Shit, that was kinda harsh, blaah, she's a criminal. Fuck her.

"EW HELL NO. NOT BOSSES!" Why was she admitting this to this woman?! Naki took a few deep breaths and skidded to a halt, turning to face the Captain. Staring her down with one green and one redbrown eye. "You flipflopping ass rider... Fuck you and the cesspool your shinigami ugly as hell ass came from."

Making a rude gesture, Naki prepared her final trick of the night. If only this stupid shinigami would get close enough.

She finally stopped, it's fucking clobbering time.

The time had come, no more chasing of a whore, time to introduce this whore to the right hand of the law. "You should've kept running but it seems just like your beat up vagina you like the abuse. Conquer your enemies Woyzeck the Tyrant!" Des finished as she became covered in a golden shiny armor.

"THIS WON'T BE THE FIRST TIME YOU GET FISTED I BET!" The captain yelled as she lunged forward with her right hand glowing a bright red as she prepared to send this woman to dream land.

Watching the Captain go straight into Shikai, Naki realized her enormous mistake. Fucking HELL NO she was NOT dealing with this shit. Look at the shining fucking hell armor. Nope. Nope nope.

Naki's eyes widened and she let out a small sound before her whole body just fell into the ground, a portal opening beneath her as she dropped down. She was going home and nothing was stopping her. "FUCK YOU BITCH QUEEN!"

With her final words, Naki and her items were out. Fucking Hell no.

Des was flabbergasted at the portal and the woman disappearing into it. Slowly her rage build up as she began to understand that the woman had just disappeared. "What... WHAT... WHAT!" Des said punctuating each what a stomp to the ground before fully devolving into a primal rage as she was on her hands and knees heading butting the roof violently. "HOW THE FUCK THUD DID SHE THUD FUCKING DO THAT? GOD DAMN IT YOU FUCKING WHORE. YOU COME TO MY AREA, STEAL FROM ME, THEN FUCKING RUN LIKE A FUCKING COWARD. GOD DAMN IT! CRASH" With one particular violent headbutt the captain came crashing through the roof into a pile of debris.

The captain laid in the rubble for hours thrashing about til she eventually ran out of steam as the sun rose on rukongai. Without another word the now bloodied captain finally left to back to her squad to file papers and create a wanted poster for the whore.

(OOC: *SLOW CLAPS* THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL KANU. I AM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD RIGHT NOW)