Painful Prejudices [nsfw]

"I-I can't fathom...how you must have LIVED then let alone...anything...and some things make more sense now? But..." Much unlike her, Selena was now rambling a bit, eyes wide as she stared up. It was unfathomable. She could not imagine living that long...she couldn't imagine how he must have lived as a human...which was something she had avoided wondering about.

"That'...why you liked old noble stories and poisons..." She laughed weakly, a bit limp in his arms from the revelation.

"...I found interest in such information due to it sounding familiar, but I can not place it exactly." Luca replied, it wasn't due to his age...but a sense of familiarity, he also was a doctor after all...

She could not imagine how he must have lived for so long...

"It's...something you lose count of eventually, the years that pass...especially in a desert..."

"Can't...place it?" Now that was a curious way to put it. What was wrong with placing it? Selena blinked, still feeling a bit weird about...

"You don't feel that old... I guess the desert keeps you young?" She knew quite well what it was...that kept him young, but she teased softly to try and reassure herself and him that it was okay.

Still there was something hanging in the air... "Then...I'll definitely stay your friend and more, I won't let that...connection sever. I still...I guess I am a bit sorry...But Luca, I can't...bare to share you with others... even with that though... You shouldn't...no matter what avoid pain... Its...good for you."

"I cannot..."

The desert kept him young? Well, she was teasing he could tell... but it was still a curious...perhaps an amusing way to think on it...

Though, it wasn't the truth...

"..." She could not bare to share him with others? She had mentioned that earlier, he...had not been bothered by it really... He should not avoid pain though...? "If...it is not a pain I can fix..."

If it was not a pain he could fix, he would rather not feel it...even if it was good for him to do so...or so she said. Feeling that kind of pain...good for him...?

"Why?" Selena asked softly, Luca seemed...something at least. What was this about not being able to place things about poisons and such though.

Hearing the unspoken words in his question, Selena nodded softly before staring at his clothing and letting her hand fall back to them. She gripped them tightly and took a deep breath. "Well... because unless you go out into the desert again... I don't think you can avoid the pain. There's people here. Arrancar. They might not dislike you for being one, but...there's other ways that hurt just as bad that they could do to you. Even if you don't want to get close to someone, you can. Its how...humans...work."

She was implying that he...was human with her words as odd as it was. "When you thought I was about to die, would that have hurt as much as me hating you for what you are?"

"I do not recall my life as a human, all of my medical, and musical knowledge I have impacted me from that time...I believe... but I do not recall anything of it."

Wandering in the deserts for so long...things were easily forgotten. Memories then were unnecessary, and had faded with time...

Perhaps... He almost wondered if he had attempted to hold on to them, but...he could not recall; if he had though...they would probably still be within him... or at least re-callable.

Luca quieted as Selena continued speaking; disliking...after a short time wasn't as painful, not everyone got a long...but...knowing for someone longer, and something tearing that relationship a part... that was what was painful to him...

How...humans worked...

At her question, he continued to be quiet for a moment; "I...do not know if those two things are comparable, but...both would be immensely painful situations..."

Luca didn't...didn't know anything about his former life? His human life... "Do...you want to? If...if poisons made you feel like you knew something... I have a lot of things about european history at my house and I could find works for other sections of the world. You knew violin so that narrows it down a bit to mostly western areas and the timeline..."

Selena's mind worked overdrive, glad to have something to focus on. A project. A large project...

His words made her shake her head, trying not to smile a bit. He didn't want to lose her...and she wasn't going to be lost. Not for him. But she had to explain more.

"Well...anytime you have the chance to connect...you will connect. And painful painful things will happen. They...they could break you at any time... but if you experience pain and move past it you're stronger a bit. The next time you are hurt, it won't come as close to killing you. It'll still hurt a lot, but you can make it through since you already know how it works. You already felt WORSE. So whats all this to that?" She was obviously speaking of experience, her voice quiet and quivering.

"I suppose...it would be interesting to remember, I wasn't as bothered by it before but...with things that seem familiar...it's troubling to not remember, or recall why it's familiar..."

The baths...weren't much farther, they would be good to relax in after everything... He felt Selena might enjoy it... Many that experienced it did...

"..." He knew what it felt like to hurt to the point of breaking...so if he experienced it again...it would be easier to move past it...

He supposed...it made sense, and from Selena's tone he felt she was...familiar with the feeling...

"I could bet that... I am curious too now. A grand adventure to learn more about your past? It sounds fun." Selena would adore diving into such histories to find information with him, it made her happy to think about. A project indeed, they'd start with her...libraries... since he could use that...portal. So her estates in France were not off limits either. She'd never shown him them... he might like them.

"You are quiet. What you are thinking?" Selena looked back up, her smile half-hearted at best. She had no idea how long they had been walking but he showed no sign of tiring.

Luca gave a nod; they could do that then... She sounded excited about the idea of doing so, and it would be beneficial for him to remember and it will be fun for Selena as well.

When she questioned his quietness, he glanced down at her before looking ahead again; just up ahead...

"I...believe you make sense with what you said, it is...just difficult to...accept such pain, but...I am attempting to do so, accept the idea...that is, since for now...I am not dealing with such again..."

Selena's focus was on Luca so she didn't pay any attention to where they were at the moment.

"You might have to... I don't want to worry you but I'm a human. I'm really weak compared to you, despite how you are other hollows want me dead... and I kind of don't have a safe life anyways. But you aren't allowed to lock yourself away no matter what happens to me, I really will not allow it." She laughed softly, her heart not in it but she tried for him. "You normally just...accept anything I say or do. Why this one time when you really should...can't you Luca?"

She was teasing but...she was also slightly not. He really did just accept anything she did...

"..."

Without realizing, Luca's hold on Selena tensed some as he walked; this...he did...not like this topic of conversation, but he knew he should...listen to what she was saying.

He couldn't...always be there like he had back in Japan...even if...that was preferable, but... he could not be...

The baths, they were...right up ahead, the doors that led there anyway. When he reached them, he came to a stop.

Selena felt his hold tighten and she leaned her head right against his chest, nuzzling it softly. She knew what she said hurt, it worried him... He just had to be aware of this! He had to think of it. Luca...seemed like someone who ignored things that didn't suit him, the few things that didn't...

Her getting hurt and drying being one of those.

As they stopped at a door, Selena glanced over and blinked. "That's... a door all right."

Why was it so big?

"The baths are through here...." Luca replied, looking at the door for another moment before situating his arm, with Selena in grasp, to open the door.

Steam...like always greeted them; it was warm as he stepped through, finally setting Selena down properly before going about making sure the door was closed properly.

Once he was sure of that, he returned to Selena's side and looked over towards the baths.

"Okay..." Selena shifted softly in his arms as he moved to open the door, making it easier if she could for him before...steam surrounded them. Luca let her down, but...left her side to close the door while she held his clothes.

She hoped none of the...others... she couldn't think monsters and not feel bad for Luca now, none of those others were around.

However her eyes were taking in the sight of this large chamber, though it was mostly occluded with the steam really. But the baths...Bath. It was...gorgeous in the middle. She gasped lightly, her hand reaching over for Luca's and taking it. There were fountains and things in it and it was huge...

"Is...this really okay to use?" Her eyes went to Luca's, she was used to such things but it seemed more like a personal sanctuary and not the bathing chambers for the whole building.

By the time Selena had spoken, after having taken his hand, Luca was already using his free hand to unbutton the buttons of his top before stopping to look at her.

"Yes, it's perfectly alright to use..." He nodded, attempting to reassure her; "Most guests are shown the baths, and are allowed to use them..."

Selena just..nodded slowly. It was a little much to take in, she had been distracted by their talk earlier in the halls but now...she had nothing to really distract her.

Her hand let go of Luca's, they needed to strip to bathe, and she began undoing his coat with one hand while the other held his clothing. She had no idea where to put it so... What was proper protocol?

Luca went about removing his clothing as Selena unbuttoned the coat of his she wore. She seemed...unsure, at least slightly so with the short glance he gave her. She was still holding his clothing as well...he should...

"Here." He took his clothes from her, moving to set them off into an appropriate spot; "I'll put our clothing here as well..." He added before he continued undressing; once he was undressed, he placed his clothes down nearby the clean ones.

He would have them washed later...

The coat was unbuttoned and Selena was about to ask when Luca took the clothes from her. She gave his words a nod but decided he might need verbal confirmation too and spoke quietly. "Okay."

Taking her clothes off, she stared down at the bandages on her chest and abdomen. There was soreness but it wasn't anything bad anymore, barely there really... Her skirt and shirt were placed along with his coat on the clean clothes he brought since they were fairly clean...

She poked at the bandages and glanced over to the baths. "Should I take these off before getting in?"

It didn't feel too odd just...standing here naked with only Luca around. He was naked as well but... it didn't feel intimate, just familiar.

"I believe it'll be alright to remove them." Luca replied, looking at the bandages she still wore; her wounds should be more or less healed overall, soreness all that was left, she should be able to take them off...

Luca gave a nod, thinking it over again; "It should be alright, we'll get in after they're removed."

He would help her remove them, but he waited on her permission to do so.

If Luca, the magic centuries old doctor, said this was fine... then it must be. Unwrapping the cloth, she quickly got rid of the bandages with a sigh of relief before staring at her healed up skin.

No marks... Selena's hands were a bit awed as they ran over the scarless spots before she smiled up at Luca. "This is amazing. You can't even tell I was wounded... Lets get in then."

Before she lost her nerve at this bath, it was too large! Were they supposed to wash in it too?

Luca was relieved to see how much had been healed, he knew it would heal properly, but considering it'd been diluted he'd had a few echo's of concerns; she was definitely fine now though, one would not even assume there'd been wounds.

When she mentioned getting in, he nodded before approaching the edge of the bath; he would get in first if it helped her feel better about getting in, but he wanted to be sure she was alright to get in first.

She was used to luxury but...just... this stupid bath... Selena noted Luca's relief and followed him as he approached the edge of the bath.

Selena was...tempted...too strongly though as he waited for her and with a laugh as the only warning she placed both hands on his back and pushed strongly. If...he fell in it would make her feel better about this place! She only wished she could see his face as she laughed.

Confusion crossed Luca's expression for a mere, short second as he felt Selena's hands move to his back; he barely had time to think before he was promptly pushed in to the waters.

He fell in with a splash, the baths definitely being deep enough for him to have fallen in before he went about resurfacing.

His eyes were slightly widened with surprise after he'd shaken out his hair, after it'd gotten wet from his unexpected drop.

Selena was...laughing?

As Luca resurfaced, Selena worried for a brief second that the baths weren't deep enough... but then the surprised expression made it worth it. Those slightly widened eyes were so worth it!

Chuckles escaped her briefly before she crouched down and looked at him with a grin. "Its fun to push or pull someone else into the water. This bath is just like a really big pool or hot tub..."

She had a pool at home and liked to do that to others... Maybe she should have done it to Luca a few times too! But then she'd lack the utter surprise she had gotten right then...