Let's Go to the Mall

"Eep!" Aoi pulled a hand back to cover her face, not able to handle the words Rin was saying... But unwilling to pull away from the head patting. He knew her only weakness.

"I still don't understand that or you..." She stuttered a bit, opening one eye through the fingers of the hand trying to cover her face

"I guess I'm an ongoing mystery then." He chuckled, amused by Aoi's reaction.

He didn't think he was that hard to really understand, though that was likely because it was him in question. Rin supposed though, that there were things that were hard to figure out about him that people may have trouble with...

"You are the most mysterious but not evil person I've ever met! How can you say such things with a straight f-face!" Aoi stammered a bit at the end, her eye still peeking out at Rin. She hadn't dealt with someone like this... In over 60 years.

Stunned, her hand fell from her face as a memory came to her. She let go of Rin, looking down at her hands and shaking a bit. "I remember something. Not like... as a story. I remember BEING in there. There with someone. Someone like you I think."

"Hmm?" Rin questioned as Aoi let go. She was shaking a bit which did worry him a little. "Aoi, you alright? A memory...?"

The way she was acting right now was worrisome...

"Someone like me?"

"Someone who never said outright what they meant, and smiled and took care of others...Someone who hurt a lot inside but didn't let anyone in to see." Aoi nodded looking at her hands.

"She liked to feed me, even if everyone else was scared. She'd bring me soup while it was still warm. They weren't allowed to do that."

Aoi cut off, breaking off her words as the memory played out. She shook more for a second and then... stopped with a deep breath. Looking up, her eyes were yellow with a black sclera, an inhuman gaze and smile. "How many of you are there, breaking the locks too fast? First the Library child and now you. Hello, little human lover."

As she curled more and more into herself, her shaking increasing as she did so, Rin just became increasingly more worried. What was wrong? Was it a bad memory? It was so bad as to make her react like this...

His eyes widened a fraction as she looked back up but...her eyes, and just by her tone he could tell it wasn't the Aoi he knew...the atmosphere...felt like he was in the presence of one of those hollows but much, much heavier than usual.

"Y...You...Who are you? What...What happened to Aoi?" His tone was surprised at first, but his worry was practically on level with his shock, so his tone became more serious as he spoke on.

The Aoi thing smiled and grabbed the arm of the human boy who had so entranced her host. The grip was iron and she held it up, examining it while ignoring his questions for now.

"Hm, skinny... Very skinny. Not very useful at all and rifling through the memories... Not very good in a fight. Still, you make her smile and warm. Oh Aoi's in here. She's just taking a small nap. Poor thing has been dealing with a lot lately." It's eyes roamed his body as it let go of his arm, the voice it was using was Aoi's but... with entirely different inflections. It was harsh and deep.

Those odd eyes narrowed as it looked at his hair, a small derisive laugh coming out. "'Shiro-usa', is the cause of a lot of stress. You could call me your Aoi's...hollow mother. I don't like you."

He'd almost reflexively pulled back at the grip the person had on his arm but once her hand was on it there was no getting out of it. He was quiet, listening at her rather...demeaning analysis of him before she finally answered his question.

Hollow...mother?

Aoi was...here though, but taking a nap and...this hollow was replacing her?

"Whether you like me or not, I don't care." Rin answered, eyes narrowed a little more than usual...perhaps a small tinge of anger behind those yellow orbs of his own? He felt fear but, even if this hollow said Aoi was there that didn't necessarily tell him if she was alright.

The hollow had mentioned Aoi being stressed...that he caused it...she always seemed to enjoy herself in his presence but was he really that stressful? Was it hurting her in the end of it all...?

"Is..Is Aoi alright? You said she was taking a...nap but that doesn't answer if she's alright or not."

Despite his mind weighing heavily on his previous thoughts, knowing the answer to what he was asking was more important. He didn't care if this hollow or whatever didn't like him he just needed to know that...

The little human was angry. Look at those eyes. Normally tired looking, only someone who had been around him as much could tell. Aoi had been around him enough to know this face was something unusual and thus it knew this was unusual. It smirked, backing away from Rin slowly but surely with the body of his lover. "So angry, what can you do though? If she was hurt, would you just yell at me until I gave her back? You have NO power over me."

It stared at a nail, picking it as it replied. "I would never harm her. She is resting while I put that memory back under the barrier, it would hurt her while she was awake if you must know. Too much to deal with these days, I really should have kept her in that teaching position and isolated."

It wasn't looking at Rin on purpose, as she stirred too much whenever that man was looked at. Apparently she hadn't liked his angry eyes even if she couldn't see them. "You are the issue here. You know just enough to hurt her and she knows too little to scare you away apparently."

"When the original Aoi and I merged, it broke the original's fragile mind. I don't want this body or control, I wish to be one. Its taken me many years to ease her back together and the glue holding her mind is... not dry." It tapped the head gently. "She's dealing with a lot of feelings and new experiences and its making it hard to piece things back in right. What she wants to be and what she's done are entirely different things, and she's not...stable enough to handle first hand knowledge."

"But she wants to know so badly, so she can face the people she's meeting and caring for. People like you Shiro-usa, even if I would prefer someone more able to protect her or shoulder her burdens." Now it started pacing, its arms waving around. "A human of all people. Her first real feelings for a HUMAN, a scrawny, wimpy, lackluster, tired, weak pathetic human. I don't know what she's thinking. We are one of the strongest in the afterlife, second in command of a Division! And we pick this sensitive writerto feel for first."

The Hollow was muttering to itself and waved its hand vaguely at all of Rin. "I can only hope she'll move on eventually. Its my only hope. Even Library brat was a better choice than this, at least he has potential. Younger than this human and already as powerful as her as a shinigami, though his fighting skills are lacking... He knows the secret and are helping us out."

As much as he hated to think it, she was right. He held no power over her, his own ability paled in comparison to the real Aoi and with this one it was plainly obvious it wasn't any different. She was purposely egging him on, he could obviously tell that but that didn't mean he was immune.

The hollow claimed it wouldn't harm her, that instead of wishing to overtake Aoi she wished to become one with her, a single being. Was that even possible though? A shinigami and a hollow? Nothing was out of the question though...considering what fullbringers were...but what about shinigami and hollow? He would have figured those two beings to be completely incompatible, but nothing was impossible...

From what little Aoi had told him, he knew she was missing pieces of her memories...and she was hurting because of it and while it wasn't exactly the same, he knew the fear of not being able to remember...whether those memories were full of happiness and joy or full of sorrow and pain...no matter how good or bad they were it was even more painful to not have them. If the one's Aoi was missing, if this hollow's presence...if her mind was actually broken...

"I am weak, I won't deny that. I can't physically protect Aoi, the most I can do is be there for her...and try to help or comfort her when she's upset." He'd only had his powers for not even a decade as of yet...apparently they weren't even fully developed, so of course he was weak. The most he could do in a pinch was run away to save his own skin and he had done so many times before; sometimes sacrificing soul's that he could have very well helped in the end if he'd been strong enough.

He wasn't though. That was fact.

Having spent a decent majority of his life...in the end it was just a petty excuse.

He wasn't just physically weak, but mentally as well...had it not been for Ruka just...existing...who was to say he wouldn't of fallen into his despair over his own missing memories? Who was to say his self hatred at the time wouldn't of flared to the point where it was too strong to be extinguished? Doctors...Nurses...they'd treated him nicely, done what they could to help him...but in the end that was their job. He held no attachment to them, had no reason to worry about hurting them when it came to himself. Other than Ruka he had no other family...so if she didn't exist then what would have been there for him?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Then Aoi had come along, and he'd started caring for someone that wasn't just his sister. He had fans that cared yes, but there was no personal attachment...in the end it had been only Ruka and now...

Somehow, Aoi had started caring for him too...despite him being the weak human who didn't even have the memory to fill up the twenty-four years of his pathetic life. All he'd done was be honest with her, not expecting anything out of it, it'd only started as two different beings learning about one another and it'd just led to this...

It could have been anyone really...sitting on that park bench that day, he figured, but it had been him.

"I am weak...and I suppose I don't entirely see what she finds to like about me so much either." He laughed, but it was bitter...nothing like the light chuckles he'd laughed before. "Even I don't like me much, if I were to be completely honest with myself. If it weren't for the fact some girl had come in the hospital that day...claiming she was my sister...I can't honestly say I wouldn't have fallen out and taken my own life..."

Rukuya wrote:

"I am weak, I won't deny that. I can't physically protect Aoi, the most I can do is be there for her...and try to help or comfort her when she's upset."

"As if that's enough. She has enough comfort with me and those around her. What can you even do for her that someone else can't?" It was a bit amused at the rather withdrawn reaction of the young man. He was hurting from her words, it was obvious. He didn't have much confidence in the first place and it was destroying that.

It was obvious it's words had unsettled Rin and he had no idea how to take it. What could Rin know of being alone though, for a thousand years or more? With nothing but the heat of your anger... Only to find a host, a cold host that you quenched it in. The parts of Aoi that sought out others, that was it's doing. What would he say to that? Knowing this thing was the cause of the parts he liked.

It smirked, the cruel expression not Aoi's at all. Even if everything was back to being settled, it was having too much run with this wimpy young man. Aoi would start fidgeting soon... Until then, she could give the human lover a bit more scares.

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It could have been anyone really...sitting on that park bench that day, he figured, but it had been him.

"I am weak...and I suppose I don't entirely see what she finds to like about me so much either." He laughed, but it was bitter...nothing like the light chuckles he'd laughed before. "Even I don't like me much, if I were to be completely honest with myself. If it weren't for the fact some girl had come in the hospital that day...claiming she was my sister...I can't honestly say I wouldn't have fallen out and taken my own life..."

"That makes two of us. Really, there are no good points about you other than your weak disposition and passive nature. I suppose that you react to her means you feel SOMETHING for her. But she could choose so much better. Someone warmer, someone who can respond to her." Wolfish grin in place, it looked at Rin with Aoi's head cocked. "Someone who doesn't hate themselves so much they can ignore all the wonder around them. Someone who wouldn't just rather die than face reality and life. Someone who doesn't need to rely on others company entirely to feel like they can make it through."

"She'll be back soon lover boy, don't worry~" The playful tone was ruined by the way it looked up at him, like it was contemplating killing him right then and there. "It would kill her to have you dead... its the only reason you stand here now. Even if that would be the smartest solution, kill you and bring you to the Soul Society."

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"As if that's enough. She has enough comfort with me and those around her. What can you even do for her that someone else can't?"

True. Anyone could but it all dwindled down to whether or not Aoi wanted comfort from just anyone. She might not mind, but then again she might would rather want to stick closer to those she'd learned to trust. He had a hard time believing a hollow could provide comfort, but he'd keep that to himself.

"Anyone can but if Aoi seeks me out, needs it from me, I'm happy to help her. Even if I can't completely understand, I'll still be there as long as she wants me to be. It's a matter of what she wants, not just if anyone can do it..."

Things just weren't that simple.

It was easier to confide in one you trusted. Some people could confide in others easily though, be open to people they may not completely trust but...while he knew Aoi was an open person, how much would she really share with just anyone? Even if she used to, even if she did so in those memories that were locked away, what about the Aoi of today?

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"That makes two of us. Really, there are no good points about you other than your weak disposition and passive nature. I suppose that you react to her means you feel SOMETHING for her. But she could choose so much better. Someone warmer, someone who can respond to her."

"Someone who doesn't hate themselves so much they can ignore all the wonder around them. Someone who wouldn't just rather die than face reality and life. Someone who doesn't need to rely on others company entirely to feel like they can make it through."

"I'm quite aware I lack any even half decent traits." His bitter tone returned. Really, tell him something he didn't already know about himself. His respectful act in public, his good nature, his kindness...for the most part it was a shield. If it hadn't been for Ruka, hadn't been for the support he got for his stories...he'd probably just would have ended up a bitter, self loathing fool until his dying day. He wanted to make Ruka happy, wanted to make Aoi happy...He did care a great deal for both of them and by making them happy it made him feel better, feel happy himself...Otherwise he had difficulty feeling it on his own. It was wrong. It shouldn't be that difficult...

Deep down though, he knew he was a burden. Always worrying others, always holding others back. That control Aoi had mentioned he may crave...Did he really have any at all?

Rin never expected to live a full life. He felt...he knew one day he'd just end up getting struck down by one of those hollows or something else. All he was good for was running away, and one day he'd even screw up at doing that.

"She could do better, a thousand times better than me I won't disagree...but as long as it's me she wants, I'll stay. If she chooses to leave one day, of course it will hurt, but I won't blame her at all. I'm weak, I lack experience, and I may even loath myself at times but despite all of those faults she still wants me, still cares, is still patient with me even though she might not want to be...If I weren't so weak, perhaps I could actually show her how much that actually means to me but who am I kidding? I doubt I could ever get that across properly."

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"She'll be back soon lover boy, don't worry~"

"It would kill her to have you dead... its the only reason you stand here now. Even if that would be the smartest solution, kill you and bring you to the Soul Society."

The idea wasn't something that hadn't crosses his mind...he was a human, he'd die sooner or later, it probably would be a smart solution to just die...but both he and Aoi knew he had too much to lose here...in this world.

Rukuya wrote:

"Anyone can but if Aoi seeks me out, needs it from me, I'm happy to help her. Even if I can't completely understand, I'll still be there as long as she wants me to be. It's a matter of what she wants, not just if anyone can do it..."

"Here's hoping she finds another." The monster grumbled, a bit frustrated with the human. He just couldn't take a hint. If it could chase him away... Then it would be fine. If he could break her heart, Aoi could have less to deal with. If Aoi thought he abandoned her... It seems he wouldn't back off so quickly.

Besides its not like it truly wanted that. It hoped she could find another strong enough... but really if this was what she chose, it was her choice as the human kept pointing out.

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"I'm quite aware I lack any even half decent traits."

"She could do better, a thousand times better than me I won't disagree...but as long as it's me she wants, I'll stay. If she chooses to leave one day, of course it will hurt, but I won't blame her at all. I'm weak, I lack experience, and I may even loath myself at times but despite all of those faults she still wants me, still cares, is still patient with me even though she might not want to be...If I weren't so weak, perhaps I could actually show her how much that actually means to me but who am I kidding? I doubt I could ever get that across properly."

"It has only been a week. There is still time for her to change her mind. Maybe being stuck in the Seireitei, with all those other shinigami will allow her time to rethink things. She'll be around her captain and others like him a bunch more. And that lovely ball, maybe some handsome, powerful shinigami will take an..intimate interest in her. She hasn't settled enough to not be flighty in her feelings. It possible she'll never come back after today." It might be Aoi's choice, but it could hope Aoi would pick another given time. He really hated himself too much to really help the shinigami woman. And it couldn't resist the barbs it threw at him. He was too easy of a target, all that anger at himself...

Spinning around, in an action reminiscent of Aoi's happy movements, it laughed. "Well, I'll be here a tiny bit longer shiro-usa. So you have anything you'd want to ask... Like how I even got in here, or some of her deepest darkest thoughts and feelings? I could share the naughty dreams she had the other night, after your little fun. Honestly, how embarrassing was that? You even got her embarrassed and she's fully trained for dealing with that sort of situation."

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"It has only been a week. There is still time for her to change her mind. Maybe being stuck in the Seireitei, with all those other shinigami will allow her time to rethink things. She'll be around her captain and others like him a bunch more. And that lovely ball, maybe some handsome, powerful shinigami will take an..intimate interest in her. She hasn't settled enough to not be flighty in her feelings. It possible she'll never come back after today."

True, but he wasn't going to give the hollow the pleasure of letting him know he agreed this time. There were many shinigami, divisions of them, there's plenty among them that were better than he was he was sure.

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"Well, I'll be here a tiny bit longer shiro-usa. So you have anything you'd want to ask... Like how I even got in here, or some of her deepest darkest thoughts and feelings? I could share the naughty dreams she had the other night, after your little fun. Honestly, how embarrassing was that? You even got her embarrassed and she's fully trained for dealing with that sort of situation."

"I'd rather not." Rin responded at the hollow's question, "if it's not Aoi telling me herself, then I have no interest. It's not my business."

If the reason the hollow was there involved something Aoi herself would choose not to tell him, even if it was a forgotten, locked away memory she hadn't or couldn't regain yet...when she did and she felt like she could trust him enough to say, then he'd listen; but he would not listen to some hollow within in her spill things she didn't want him to know yet.

"So poncy and uptight and cold. She needs lots of warmth, I am not sure if you can keep her that way on your own." It turned, laughing as it moved back towards Rin. Pressing against the human, Aoi's arms wrapped around him and it hugged him as it buried its face in his chest. Just like how Aoi did when she wanted comfort.

Still, the eyes weren't Aoi's as they shifted so they could glance at his face. "Silly silly human. She doesn't remember... and you may never know how a Shinigami got infected by a hollow now. Oh well~"

The awful unnatural color was draining from Aoi's eyes, her normal blue replacing it. But it couldn't resist one last barb. "It could break her mind again to know whats inside her, you wouldn't want to say anything...bad for now. Just pretend everything is fine, like you are so good at doing."

He was only being cold because of the unwanted presence, that being the hollow. He scowled slightly when it took it upon itself to embrace him, holding him close like Aoi would.

The hollow was taking it's last chances at jabbing at him as the unnatural coloring began to drain, returning to the blue he was used to seeing in the girl.

He didn't respond to the hollows remarks, choosing to not satisfy it with a response.

Even if Aoi didn't remember, it wasn't his business to know anything she didn't want to tell him. If she one day could handle remembering, and still chose not to tell him, then so be it. It was her past, whether or not she chose to be open about it was her choice.

His scowl disappeared once the blue returned, his expression softening as his hands moved to brace Aoi's shoulders in case she was unsteady as she regained control and consciousness.

Act like everything was fine, huh? Sure, he could put on a mask and pretend...but there was no stopping him from worrying. This is the exact kind of feeling he feared having, feared Ruka having if she were to find out about him...that constant biting at the back of his head that something might go wrong, that something bad could happen...

With one last smirk as it noticed how protective Rin was over the girl... It faded away, a thoughts in its part of its head as it did so. The blue eyes were blank, with no sign of life for a few moments, before a few blinks brought life to the sapphire.

Looking up at Rin, she seemed a bit foggy, pressing against him and using him to help her stand. She was oddly weak and felt drained... and worried for some reason. She felt like she should be soothing Rin, taking care of him... Her face twisted into a confused look as one hand reached up cup his cheek. "R-Rin? Is everything... I feel a bit dizzy."

It would have been happy to know how it invaded his thoughts. How it had made him worry. If he couldn't handle such small worries, it wasn't worth their time.

He wanted to breath a sigh of relief when she spoke again, in the voice he had come to be familiar with as the Aoi he knew regained consciousness.

"Everything's fine." He replied, giving her a soft smile. "You almost tripped and got a bit winded, the dizziness should be gone in no time if you just rest a little."

Saying that, he leaned in, his arms moving to embrace her in a hug before he gave a small laugh.

"Sorry, I just felt like hugging you. Hope you don't mind."

Rin seemed worried about something... but as he spoke she gave a small sheepish smile. "Oh... I am silly... Sorry Rin, I'll try not to do it again and worry you."

In her head, she was putting the pieces together. There was something odd about this... it felt familiar. It hurt to try and think too much about it at the moment though, but this feeling... She couldn't shake the thought it happened before and she should be paying attention. As she was thinking this, Rin...

"Uwaa!" Aoi let out a small sound as Rin hugged her rather suddenly, her arms going around his neck as she held him in return with the biggest grin on her face. "Hehe... Don't apologize Usa. You can hug me whenever and however you want~"

"It's alright, really." Rin said, his voice soft has he held Aoi in the embrace, giving a slight chuckle at her reaction to it. "Then I'll try to hug you more often then."

Well, and try kissing too, he'd gotten better at that though which he was proud of.

"Don't go out of your way, silly shiro-usa. Hug me however much you want." Aoi grinned and tugged gently on Rin's neck, pulling his head down for a kiss as she rose to her tippy toes. This park would be the perfect place for her to leave, they would just have to get the items and she could go...

The butterfly never very far from her, but always discreet, fluttered out of a nearby tree, around the pair as Aoi gave Rin rather nice kisses. It knew it was time to go soon.

Rin returned the kisses, knowing they'd probably be the last ones for a while until the next time. The hollow had tried to plant doubt that there might not even be a next time, but he stayed hopeful, as it was the only thing he really could do.

Aoi pulled back, smiling as she did, one hand resting on Rin's cheek. "Mm, I should go now... Lets go back to the car, we'll take the stuff into the park and I can show you something interesting."

Winking at Rin, Aoi took his hand and led him back to the car while the butterfly fluttered around his head. With Rin's help, Aoi had all the bags on her arms and they headed back inside the park. Aoi wasn't sure if Rin was confused about this or not... but she kept quiet most of the way back into the park.

She led him to a very deserted part and waved the butterfly ahead. Aoi was nervous, her mind racing. Should she be showing him this? "Um Rin? I know I haven't said anything... But don't be scared please? This is how I get home."

As she spoke, a line appeared in the air in front of them, growing and glowing brightly as the butterfly fluttered around them. Two large rectangular wooden doors were suddenly there, and they opened with a creak to another set of doors. This one was circular and it too opened, into a white glowing void. Aoi gave a small shy laugh, wishing she could rub her head but rather burdened with items. "A senkaimon. It allows us to pass through the dimensions and go home, to the Seireitei. The butterfly allows us to bypass a rather nasty dimension, between the living and afterlife."

She was scared to explain too much or do too much, afraid of reminding him of what she was.

After they retrieved the things they'd bought from the car, they headed deeper into the park; out of obvious sight, even if no one was around it was good to be cautious.

Aoi explained the scene before him, the thing appearing being her way of travel between the words. He knew there'd been a way to do so for shinigami, but hadn't expected something like this; he'd expected something less eye catching, but, it wasn't like it was a bad thing.

"I see, it's...interesting, much different than what I'd thought it'd be." Rin responded after Aoi had explained it and the butterfly's use.

He'd seen that butterfly before, like when they'd first met, but hadn't expected it to provide a use like that one.

"Guess this is see you until next time, huh?" He said, offering her a small smile.

"I did say it was interesting. I thought you might appreciate it." Aoi closed her eyes and smiled, pushing down any of her rather silly thoughts on the matter. The butterfly flitted close to Rin's face for a second before flying around Aoi's head as if it was moving her closer.

"Of course! I'll be back before you know it! I'll tell you all about things, enough to make you want to escape my rambling. Aoi gave it a frustrated look at the hurrying butterfly and then sighed, walking towards the dimensional door. She wanted to stay, she knew it was a bad choice to stay, but she wanted to nonetheless. Turning around just before she reached the white glow, she smiled softly and then entered it. The doors closed behind her, as they slowly faded away.

Aoi was home and...rather upset.