LOVE GOOD TIME

Ghg..g....gmnf....f...

That... He just... It was just something that came to mind for him to do sometimes! It... It wasn't like those things were...significant actions...it wasn't like it was...out of his way to do them or anything... No...big deal...

With the force of the pull, the pillow came out from under him and his head hit the mattress with an "oomph" just as Miyako fell from the bed.

His head turned before he sat up some, looking to Miyako who was now tangled up in the blanket on the floor. Holding out his hand, she could take it to help herself up and pull herself back up here.

It had yet to hit his mind that this was another nice action that further put cracks in the person he thought he was.

Miyako scrambled on the floor under the blanket with little oomphs as she finally untangled herself and tossed off the blanket. Her hair was all messed up, the ribbon having partially come undone but as she looked up from the floor to see Hibiki's hand... her smile was bright and warm.

His face was so red... she... felt her face heating up from seeing that. Instead of taking his hand and getting up though, she sat there as she took it to pull it close to her face and cheek. She leaned her head against it and smiled up at him. "You always...always think of me. When I get worried about things, worried I bother you...or worry about silly things like I'm not good enough for you... Or wonder if you like me as much as I like you... I just remember that no matter what else, you always do all sorts of small things. They show you care..."

"They show how sweet you are... how attentive... and it stops all my worries. Like remembering my favorite pocky and getting it on bad days... or sharing your favorite foods when you think I haven't eaten enough..." Miyako could list all the things he did for her and she stared up at him adoringly. "How...how can you not see how kind you are? Its obvious to me! You even tried to help me back up when I fell!"

Gh!?

Gh...g...

There were only small, sputtered noises escaping him as Miyako continued talking, sending him further and further into a downward spiral of an identity crisis. Ghg... Just... What the hell!? It... It... He just...

Ghg...

Even though Miyako had his hand he fell back to the bed, face first as a noise escaped him, flustered. This...That... It wasn't...

Who the hell was he!?

"No!" Miyako shot up, crawling onto the bed and attempting to roll Hibiki over. She pushed with all her might, forcing her shoulder under his dead body and with a loud groan flipped him onto his back. Immediately she hopped onto his lap to hold him in place, breathing heavy from her exertions and completely forgetting she was pretty much naked.

"No! You can't ignore it. You are sweet. I swear, Hibiki is the sweetest. He's nice and kind and gentle, he protects me like a hero too. There is nothing wrong with this and you for being like this! I really really am speaking the truth!" If he tried to move her he'd learn just how spider monkey and annoying it would be to get her off. "I'll repeat it over and over and over! Hibiki...he cares for me! He cares a looot! I don't need you to say it to know it, even if it'd be nice. You've always lied to yourself, always always ever since we met and you keep doing it! But you don't need to all the time, sometimes...sometimes you can be truthful. You protect me...so I'll protect your heart and feelings if you want. I can protect you that way, store all the real stuff in my heart and keep it safe! That's something I can do to help you too."

What...was she saying...

A groan escaped him as he was promptly turned over and sat on by Miyako; he couldn't move like this! He couldn't turn over again! Ghg...g... If he tried he was sure Miyako would find some way to get him on his back again...

Gh..This was...

His arms moved up to cover his face, it being the only action he could really manage to hide at this point.

This... So... So... He had...some moments were he thought about her first, so...so...that... Wasn't that normal...but...gh...g... It... It was normal, so it didn't... It... He just, he'd just... He'd...that... but...

It didn't make...

What...What was she even saying!?

"Stop hiding Hibiki and listen to me for once!" Miyako grumped as her hands reached down to tug at his arms. It would be futile, he could keep his arms there all he wanted, he was too strong... "Stop avoiding feelings and the truth! I want...you to be able to tell me about your feelings...even if its only sometimes... Pleeease!"

She called out softly, her lip quivering as Hibiki continued to hide. "You don't have to hiiide it! You don't..."

How...How could he not hide!? What was he supposed to say, he couldn't even form anything beyond noises at this point!? Gh...

He felt Miyako tug at his arms, and then her voice as she began to speak. Was she...?

Gg...h... Damn it.

His arms left his face, causing him to leave his hiding sanctuary for only a brief moment as they went up and pulled Miyako down. He was holding her to him, her face next to his. It... He was still kind of hiding, but...d...Damn it... She didn't need to sound...sad or anything...

While Hibiki's arms pulled away from his face, Miyako smiled down at him happily before she was pulled down to his body and held there. But still...he said nothing... and she wilted more...

"I can't read your mind... Hibiki please... I don't even know what you are feeling right now...or what you want to say. Tell me... tell me it all." Miyako was buried against him as her voice sounded still sad and lonesome, her face next to his as he held her... but still feeling left out...

Had she been wrong...? "...A-Am...I wrong... W-Was I just...a-assuming all...these things...?"

Her voice came out broken and weak almost as she...gave up...

"M..m..n...Flu...Flustered..." A word, he managed a word...and it was...embarrassing beyond reason to admit it. "I...Identity crisis..."

For him the claim wasn't as dramatic as others might seem. Of...Of course he'd feel like he was having one! Saying... Hearing all of that considering what he believed himself to be!

"N..." Another noise came up, stopping him from talking. If he could be thankful for anything, it was the fact he was still technically hidden. "Not...wrong...mn..."

"I-Its okay to be flustered... Why the..crisis...? Whats...wrong with...being how you are?" Miyako was a bit confused over the identity crisis comment, her eyes wide and the sadness disappearing from her tone at his words. Was it because...he saw himself... as a monster?

He did...he thought of himself as the worst person possible...

She knew that...

A laugh escaped her though, a happy little one that caused her to snuggle closer as she heard...she wasn't wrong. She hadn't been... Miyako buried her face in his hair as all her mope disappeared. "I-I...am so happy. Thank you..."

"Mn..." It seemed...Miyako figured out the crisis comment without him having to say anything...much to his relief. He wasn't even sure if he could explain it right now...

His answer had been...enough though from what he could tell, and he gave another noise at Miyako's thanks to him. Her mope seemed to have disappeared from her...g-good...

"H-Huh?" Mn was not an answer to her question! Miyako was confused again, she had no idea... What... What...was he trying to say? Was... Huh?

"What crisis? What's going on?" Her voice was rather confused and unsure now, he hadn't..said anything in response!

"Gh-....I-I thought you figured...that out..." She'd seemed content shortly after asking that! Why... Just...What was he supposed to say!?

He...Hibiki Ikehara...was having an identity crisis.

He was having a...gargantuan identity crisis!

"...T...Mn..." It had been an attempt. "The...me....you're describing....s'not..." It wasn't the person he'd spent years seeing himself as. It...It wasn't so easy to just...accept certain things! This was all difficult to just...up and think about and accept!

"N-No! I was happy you... you said I wasn't wrong! I wasn't not confused anymore, I just was really happy!" Miyako stuttered out, not really sure why he had assumed that and shaking her head against his hair.

"How is it not you...if you are the one doing it?" Miyako was confused but also...understood slightly. Still he needed to ask these things of himself. "I-If you are the one doing it and thinking about it... Th-Then isn't that you too?"

Identity crisis... He was avoiding thinking about things! He was! He wasn't just having a crisis he was...ignoring himself...

"Mn...n..." It...wasn't so easy to explain, but he doubted that was an acceptable answer. "s'Not...just..."

He couldn't even explain it! He was...trying, but...

He didn't want to bring up the past, he really didn't, but it was obviously a crucial point in all of this and why he was reacting and acting like he was.

"M...mn..." It... He just...

"Hm?" Not just... Miyako prompted, the sounds...not helping her understand. She'd tried her best to not push to not ask...to not question...

And she realized he probably couldn't... say it outloud. She wished...more than anything sometimes she could read his thoughts better. So she could know when she went too far.

Her voice quiet and withdrawn, she spoke. "I-Its fine. Its okay... I'll just...um just forget about it okay? Hehe. Its okay!"

She...gave him her fake laugh and even if he couldn't see it, her smile that she hid behind for others. It was fine... pushing him like this was bad...

"D...Don't pull that...fake...b-bullshit..." He knew fake when he heard it...that laugh was fake. She wanted him to talk...

He was trying...he really was...

"s'Not...it... I don't...want to bring up...past...like some sort...of excuse, even...if..." Again, as he'd thought before... It was a crucial element as to why he was like he was...but...he didn't want to use it like it was some sort of excuse for how he was acting...

Even if...it was a reason...

"H-How come you get to lie and hide things but I can't fake it?" Miyako grumbled and reached a hand up to tug his hair on the side she wasn't hiding her face on. "Its not fair at all..."

"But...I need to know...to understand a bit... and you...you can tell me. I'll listen... I-I know you aren't excusing it..." Realizing something, she pulled back against his arms and tried to sit up so she could see his face. Her eyes were wide as she realized something...something very important...

"...Do you think I'll hate you for what you did? O-Or...dislike you? O-Or take back...the things I've said?"

"..." Aito turned his head, the tug at his hair not having bothered him earlier before Miyako had begun speaking. His head had turned away at her last words. It... That wasn't... Was...gh...

She new the basic outline! She...

That...

"s'Just..." It... It was her birthday, shouldn't she focus on happier things? Things that wouldn't lead to her being upset? She...was already kinda upset...but...

He had...told her he'd tell her such things, but...

"...Promise you'll tell me soon then..." Miyako sat up and stared down at Hibiki, a bit more spine than she usually showed in her eyes. "Promise. Or I'll just go back to my dorm. If...its hurting you that much, I want to help you and share it. Its not fair of you to keep me out, not of this stuff... But I won't go behind your back and ask Muika either."

She had forgotten that...it was her birthday... entirely...

Miyako just wanted him to accept...at least begin to accept, parts of himself he tried to pretend didn't exist.

"...Promise." Aito replied, glad he was at least able to get that word out with that humiliating stutter. He didn't...want to hide those things from her, but... It was... It was just... He knew she had every right to hear considering the relationship...

She had every right to know... He knew, he just... "...Swear it on my real name." He added, hopefully adding more validity to the promise he'd just made.

Still...

"s'Your...birthday." He managed that. "You shouldn't...upset..."

She didn't need to be...upset on her birthday...

"...You didn't have to swear it on your real name you know." Miyako smiled sweetly, looking away as she tried not to look flustered. That sort of...promise from him... "I trust you. If you promise, you promise."

She tried not to look so happy about that promise though, it was something that was extremely upsetting to know she bet and even worse to have lived through but... He was going to share with her things he wouldn't have before.

"Well it is my birthday! So we get to do what I want and if I wanted to be upset, I could totally be upset. But..." She paused and turned her smile back down at him as she bounced on his lap. "That is really really sweet to think about and worry so much over. You are being really kind again Hibiki, worrying over me being happy."

"Mn..." Still, he'd made the promise, one day he'd explain it...answer whatever questions she had on it and just tell her as much as he could...or as much as she wanted.

At her following words though, words that contained more comments on him being...sweet and kind he turned his head to the side again.

"A...Ah." Well he hadn't been silent...

Miyako bounced on his lap more and giggled as she did. "Well! What do we do now? You've been flustered beyond belief... and I got the best presents ever. I got to see you blushing really strongly! I mean I caused it too, but I got to see for once."

Hibiki was quiet so she would make up for it by being happy and talkative. There was cake to look forward too and food and snacks and other things! But right now what did they do? Hmm... There was lots of options in front of them, whether they went back out and had a date of sorts or if they stayed in the room the whole time.

She...She didn't have to bounce on his lap like that! Besides she was... Perhaps he was just now realizing it to a fuller extent but... She was practically naked...

What... What to do now...

"We can...do whatever, if you want...food or cake or something we can go out...get it..." Get food, and they could... "Could also pick up more...papers for later..."

Papers to look through for apartment hunting. They didn't have to jump right back into it, but the papers would be good to go ahead and have.